Don't Live in Regret

I'm a little late on sharing my reflections over the last year. 2017 was an eventful year that seemed to fly by in a flash. My last post was April 15th and exactly one month later, on Mother's Day, my pregnant sister-in-law, Miki died suddenly at 24 years old, along with the little girl she carried. It seemed unreal. We had so many questions and no answers; how? why? She was too young. It was not suppose to be this way. She had her whole life ahead of her. Mother's Day will never be the same for any of us; especially for her mother and the two young children Miki left behind. This was the last picture with her and her four brothers. We miss her.

Death has no age limits. None of us are promised tomorrow. Later can turn into never. I wish I had been with my grandma when she died; instead she died alone. I had to reschedule my last lunch date with my friend Abby, a few weeks later she was gone. I often wonder what we would have talked about. My last conversation with Miki was through text. She told me what she was going to name the baby and about her plans to return to school after she was born. My heart hurts sometimes when I think about my last conversation with those who have past on. What would I say different if I had known it was our last time to talk? What would I add?

I'm sure we all have regrets; the coulda, shoulda, woulda's can plague us until we fall into deep depression and render ourselves useless for any good thing. We can beat ourselves up with all that we did wrong or just didn't do at all, but that doesn't help anyone. I have been very good at using the regret stick (which feels more like a bat) to strike blows on myself, but never once has it given me a chance to change the situation. We are human beings, we will make mistakes, we will mess up, but regret will never make it better.

Nehemiah 8:1-12 describes how all God's people gathered to hear Ezra read the book of the law. When he finished the people answered Amen, lifted their hands, worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground, and wept because they understood the words of the law. Their hearts were broken by God's word, but Ezra encouraged them not to mourn or weep or grieve "for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

As I read these scriptures, I heard the encouragement for myself: don't live in regret, keep moving forward, and rejoice in your relationship with the Lord. 

Don't live in regret!