Prone to Wander

This week is the fourth of eight weeks of radiation treatments. It has been a long journey but with only five more weeks to go, I can say that there is a light at the end of this cancer tunnel after all. It is brighter today than it was on January 11th when I received my diagnosis.

It's been a long year, and through it all, God has taught me a great deal. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned, and the ones He is continuing to teach me. I can say that it was much easier to hear Him when the responsibilities of life were not constantly ringing in my ear.

While I was taking chemo there was a great deal of illness and fatigue that came with the treatments. I willingly let go of most of the household responsibilities and daily errands. I spent my days resting and caring for myself; all of me, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was constantly seeking the Lord and listening for His voice.

There were weeks I could hardly wait to tell you all what God had taught me. I knew that cancer was going to change my life and I wanted to be better on the other side of this trial than when I began it. The more time I spent with Him the hungrier I was to learn and grow.

But then, as I started feeling better and able to do more, there was so much that screamed for my attention. The little things that piled up while I was down, running my kids to and from school, and extracurricular activities, then soon the everyday chores around the house.

My time with Him became less and I can totally relate to the old hymn: "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Take my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above."

Why I ask, am I so prone to wander from the God that I so dearly love? Do I wander from my husband? Do I wander from my kids? If I evaluate my life honestly, I can say, yes I wander from them as well. Doing for those I love can take me from those I love. Busyness has robbed me of my time with all of those that I love.

Time is a valuable commodity and spending it wisely with those I love is a lesson God has continued to remind me of over and over again. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get it! Maybe it just becomes a matter of getting it sooner than I did before.

But God

Hello everyone! It has been a while since I have gotten to talk to you all. I'm in my second week of radiation, I have 6 more weeks to go. I was told to expect sunburn-like sensitivity in the area being treated and fatigue. I am beginning to feel both but for now, all is going well.

I have been working overtime canning jams and jellies to sell at NEO Community Garden upcoming Fall Fest on Sept. 28th. I am selling them as a fundraiser for my daughter's band trip to Disney World where they will march in the Disney parade.

I am not a professional canner by any stretch of the imagination. I enjoy making them but it can get very frustrating when they don't set or don't seal. I am ashamed to admit how many times I have had to remake batches of product.

I will say that canning is NOT like cooking at all. I am always finding recipes for things to cook, but I will often leave out things I don't like or don't have on hand. I substitute all the time, but with canning, you MUST follow the recipe AND instructions. 

I am always looking for what the Lord may want to teach me in every situation and I was reminded of a challenging conversation with Janie on the Woman to Woman broadcast where we discussed how easily we can get caught up "doing God's will - our way". 

I can find myself saying, "But God!" I know! I know! That phrase is very popular these days as a way to give praise for God's intervention. However, I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "But MOM!" from my kids and they are never praising me...LOL! Just like adults, they have their own ideas about how they want to do things or what they think will work better.

I know that I have said, "But God!" in objection many times in my life in an effort to change His decision or request. It has never made anything better to try to excuse my behavior with "But God knows my heart", or with "But God loves me anyway".

I have learned the hard way that my own ideas about how I want to do things just doesn't work; for canning or otherwise. So, there are strict rules for canning so the product will set and seal properly. God has strict rules for us so that we can be protected and preserved.

It takes discipline to follow instruction and leave my own thoughts and opinions out of the equation. As a parent, I have rules for my kids that I expect them to follow. The same is true for me as God's child; He expects me to follow His rules and instruction.

There are scriptures that are hard sayings; "But God" should never be my response. His rules are not in place to hurt me. His great love of the cross is proof of it.

I love God's tender way of teaching me valuable lessons in everyday situations. Sometimes it takes me a while to get it "But God" is gracious and long-suffering. So, now I'm following the recipe and making great progress on the jams and jellies and I gained a little wisdom along the way.