Getting to Know Them

Well, the last day of school is now official. Distance learning was a new adventure that required communicating in ways that we have never experienced in our home. There is talk that school will begin distant in the fall and we are still being asked to stay at home. It has been a very unusual spring and it doesn't look like summer is going to be much different. 

I have looked for ways to make our time at home as fun as possible for my children. So, I decided to venture to the backyard and garden with them. 

Gardening is a lot of work, but we have had a great time talking, joking, and laughing. I started learning new things about them and God taught me a lesson that I am learning to apply. 

See, I have been guilty of saying, "I just don't understand you" to my children, which has never helped me understand them better. 

But, God showed me in His word that He never told us to understand Him; He said to know Him. In knowing Him we will begin to understand His truths. 

As I have applied that same concept to my children, it has opened a clear line of communication and I have begun to understand their humor, personality, quirks, and also fears strengths, and weaknesses. 

They are changing as they grow and forming into young adults. When they spend most of their day in public school, exposed to the world culture, ideas, and opinions, it plays a huge role in shaping who they are becoming. 

The little time that I have them at home should not be spent frustrated in a lack of understanding them but that time spent being a part of who they are becoming. Getting to know them allows me the opportunity to encourage them in God's truth, instill godly values, and help guide them in wisdom. 

I know this pandemic has been hard. It's changed our normal routines and the way we communicate, but I am so thankful for the lessons God is teaching in the midst of it. I am grateful for the precious gift of my children and getting to know them will be a lifetime adventure. 

Back to Normal

This is not the new normal I was hoping for after cancer, but could this pandemic become a new way of life? I hear a lot of people saying that they want to get back to normal. I have to ask; was "normal" so great? Could it be that God doesn't want us to go back to normal?

 

When Moses went to Pharoah by God's command to set His people free, they rose up against Moses saying, leave us alone, let us get back to normal. 

In the days of Noah, people were living normal lives without regard to the truth that Noah preached. 

When Saul persecuted the church and scattered them abroad throughout the regions, I would imagine that they were hoping to get back to normal too. 

In every one of these situations, God had a greater plan for the lives of His people. He wanted them to draw nearer to Him and have a life more abundant with Him, but everyone was too caught up in their normal everyday lives. Have we gotten so consumed with the normal life that we can't see God's handwriting on the wall?

It saddens me to hear the church today speak about missing out on the normal things they do. Many church groups put together a drive-thru Easter egg hunt because they couldn't have a traditional one. We do all these things to reach out, but this may be a time that we should be reaching in. Reaching in to see what God sees, asking Him for His examining eyes to reveal the deepest parts, the hidden stuff, and look past the surface of normal.

"Awake you that sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light. See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil" Ephesians 5:14-16. The church has been asleep in the routines of normal life. 

It's about time we wake up and seek God's wisdom, redeem the time to examine, repent, stand, and proclaim. It's about time that we arise and shine the light of Christ to those who are lost in darkness, full of fear, and can't find hope. 

Let's stop looking back to normal!

Isolation

Throughout my battle with cancer last year, I kept myself separated from the world as much as possible. Now that I am on a journey to a new normal, I thought that my time in isolation was coming to a close. However, there's a buzz of stay-at-home orders and the school closing for the rest of the year. So, it sounds like my isolation continues.

I have been hearing reports of other countries shutting down places in an effort to stop the spread of this virus. It was nieve of me to think that it would be stopped before reaching our shores. 

For years I have heard reports through The Voice of the Martyrs about the oppression and persecution that Christians have faced all over the world. However, we have been isolated from it in America. 

If we think about it, America has been isolated from many hardships that other countries have faced. Could the comforts we have all enjoyed in this nation be coming to a close?

The idea that our freedoms to have a Bible, gather in worship, and share the gospel could be taken away from us is hard to imagine. But just as the virus has made it's way to this nation, so are the ideals that will take away our freedoms; it's only a vote away.

So, Christians shouldn't think that we are isolated from the persecution that our brothers and sisters face all over the world, because as we are individually going into isolation, our country is coming out of isolation.  

My co-host Janie has an analogy that I think describes American Christians, she says, "Christianity is like being on a battleship but we think we have signed up to get on a cruise ship." 

We are a nation of Christians who have stepped into the comforts of Christianity and question God's love when those comforts are removed. Being a Christian is full of so many blessings and we never have to fear the loss of God's love. Romans 8 says that we are more than conquerors and nothing can separate us from the love of God. 

I think in times like these we have to remember that He is the Captain of the battleship and although the storm may rage and we may take some hard hits, we will never be defeated. 1 Cor. 15 promises that we are victorious through Jesus and the battle is won! 

So, whatever the next few weeks of isolation may bring, let's continue the fight with the Lord as our Captain. 

A New Normal

My journey through recovery has been full of new challenges; some that I expected and others that knocked me off my feet. Throughout my cancer journey, I was constantly looking for God to teach me lessons; not because I thought I was being disciplined for some bad behavior, but that in adversity, my heart could be purified and my character developed. I had decided to be a lump of clay back on the Potter's wheel and allow His hands to mold and shape me for His purpose. 

I was recently asked, "What was the greatest lesson God taught you?" As I looked back, I could sum it all up with one-word; contentment. 

I don't know if any of you have ever experienced a longing for something more, but that longing had plagued me. As if who I was, wasn't enough, or what I did just didn't measure up. 

I think I got to that place because unconsciously was trying to make up for my past mistakes and failures; you know, those things God has already forgiven me for but I was still trying to make right as if His forgiveness wasn't enough. But with every little lesson last year, God sweetly and gently pulled back each layer, little by little. 

So, this time of recovery has been for my whole body; not just physically, but emotionally, and spiritually too. There have been many challenges that I have successfully overcome and some that I am still working on. 

I have had to rearrange my priority list and purposefully work within that list. I have had to say no to things and people that I would have loved to said yes to. But this has been a process of retraining my thinking, habits, and lifestyle and I realize that I will never go back to normal, I just have to find a new normal, and that is really not such a bad thing. 

I am very thankful for my friends and family who are understanding and supportive of where I am on this journey. because I have become a bit of a recluse, almost as if I'm in a cocoon, I may not emerge as a beautiful butterfly but I do want to allow God to develop this new way of life in me and hopefully, I will emerge completely transformed into a new normal. 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! I love this time of year. The temperature changes, the leaves turn beautiful colors, and the feeling of change fills the air. Usually, these things happen in October around here, but this year the seasons have been off just a little, so Fall was short and taken over quickly by freezing temperatures.

I think the feeling of change in the air is what I love most about Fall. There is an excitement of something new coming and I look with anticipation over the horizon to what it might be.

This time last year, I had no idea the change that would be coming for me in 2019, although it was a difficult year, I am so thankful for it all.

The month of November tends to bring out the grateful side of us. This is a great time to look back over the year and remember the good, find the positives, and express thanksgiving. Oddly enough, for me, the good and positive came through the diagnosis, treatment, and pain of cancer.

I am grateful for God's gentle hand in the midst of the most difficult year of my life. I am thankful for my family and friends, and there are no words to describe how much I appreciate each day I live.

🎵 I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart I will enter His courts with praise. I will say this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice for He has made me glad. 🎵

A New Journey

I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Triple Negative Ductal Carcinoma in my right breast on January 11th, started chemotherapy on February 12th, had surgery on July 15th, and radiation began on August 29th. As of October 29th, I have completed my last treatment for cancer. Every treatment has come with several side effects that caused pain and fatigue. Weeks of treatment followed by weeks of recovery. It has been a very long year of fighting and by God's grace, I have won the battle.

From the beginning, I knew that my life would never be the same, so I wanted to be changed for the better on the other side of this journey. As I take the time to look back, I can see change, growth, and insights into parts of myself that I had never known before.

I have a new appreciation for my family and friends. They supported me in prayer, encouragement, sacrifice, acts of kindness, and love. They took the time to send cards, texts, and food. They made trips to visit me, researched ways to help me, and gave gifts of love. I am blessed beyond measure.

Some of the unknowns, in the beginning, were a bit scary. I didn't know what my hair would look like when it grew back but I am pleased that it has given me a slight resemblance to my daddy.

I have always considered myself "daddy's little girl" and today, at 50 years old, married, with children; I am still his little girl in my heart. I have always been impressed by his physical strength, but it is his strong love for God that I admire the most. 

I suppose all "daddy's girls" have a special daddy-shaped-place in their hearts that no one else can fill. Daddy is always the one we hope will be the proudest of us. We look for his character qualities in the man we want to marry, which I am happy to say that I found.

I am definitely a daddy's girl, but for a while, I looked like my brother. My mom said that when we were born we were like twins 5 years apart. We both weighed 8lbs 13oz, 21in long, and looked exactly alike. Now, 45 years later...poof...twinkies again!

This has been an amazing journey that has come to an end, but oddly enough, I find myself on a new road. What will life be like when the recovery is over. I will no longer be sick, in treatment, fatigued, in pain, or being lifted in prayer. 

I have been through the Refiner's fire. When I rise up from the ashes and shake off the soot, who will emerge?

I am looking forward to walking this new road, exploring the new sights, and experiencing a new life on this journey to the other side of cancer. 

I want to thank everyone who has prayed for me and walked with me through this year. I am so grateful for you and blessed to have you in my life. I love you all.  

Character Counts

Radiation treatments have become quite painful. The radiation burn on my skin has caused open wounds and much discomfort. The striking pain through my breast is almost constant. It causes a great deal of distraction - from my thinking process to staying on task. I often find things half-done around the house and have trouble finding words to complete my thoughts.

I have completed 27 treatments on a large area from the center of my chest to under my right arm. I have 2 more treatments that cover this large area, then 7 treatments that will focus on the tumor area only. It is nice to be almost done, but exhausting at the same time. There are so many things that I want to do but I have become so tired and the pain adds to that.

I wanted to go to Rachel's band competition today in Bixby but I am unable to make it. I am so proud of the entire Grove High School Band. They won second place last week in Oolagah. They have a grueling schedule: workout and rehearsal every morning at 7am, Tuesday evening, and Friday afternoon; followed by Friday night football game where they might not get home until after midnight, then they are back early Saturday mornings for all-day competitions. Not to mention the fact that they began all-day rehearsals three weeks before school started.

These young men and women are devoted, determined, and disciplined. They listen to instruction from their directors and show them respect. They know the rules and follow them. They work hard and do their very best even when they are exhausted, even when people get up and leave for concessions during their show, even when it seems no one is listening. They are true to themselves and sacrifice for the whole of the team.

I don't know most of them, but their character is seen at every ball game, homecoming coronation, parade, bonfire, competition, concert, rehearsal, and individual encounter. They are an inspiration to the rest of us (or at least they are to me).

Even if people don't know me, do they see my devotion, determination, and discipline to God? Do they see the character of Christ in me? Does my life display that I follow God's instruction and respect Him? These are scary questions to ask but also scary not to know because the character I display counts for eternity.

So, next time you are at a game don't think of the band as the background music to your conversation. Take the time to give them a big cheer, ask the announcers to turn off the speaker music when they are playing, postpone your snack run to watch them perform, and let them know you appreciate their hard work because they deserve our respect and our character counts too.