The School of Life

It has been a good recovery from surgery so far. My right arm has hurt the worst from the removal of the lymph node. The lumpectomy took a little longer than expected because the tumor was completely gone so the goal was to retrieve the clip that was placed on the tumor during the biopsy. A large amount of tissue was removed and sent in for testing along with the lymph node.

The pathology report from those specimens has come back with negative results for cancer! I can do nothing but praise God for His mighty works. He has been so good to me through this entire process. He has worked through the hands of the doctors and nurses, through the hands of my friends and family, and through the hands of total strangers.

My mom and sister were here to help me with my physical needs during the hardest part of my recovery. There is something humbling about allowing others to come alongside you and do the things that you would normally do yourself, but I can't imagine what I would have done without them.

They live so far away we don't often get to do things together. We took advantage of the time to have some fun. They brought apples from Dad's apple tree and we (I couldn't do much) canned apple pie filling and apple peel jelly. We made apple cobbler and blackberry cobbler from my blackberries. Of course, some may not call that fun, but we had a blast. One night we had a PJ party, I think that is always considered fun. We watched some old classic movies and did a lot of talking and laughing.

These are all precious moments that I will treasure forever. Cancer, as hard as it is, has been the catalyst that has ignited friendships, prompted family visits, and forced me to move outside myself. I started this blog long before I was diagnosed with cancer, but I didn't feel comfortable sharing some of the things that God was teaching me.

I figured my training was kindergarten in comparison to others. But what I have learned is that no lesson is above or below grade. We can all learn from each other but the teacher is God Himself. He is the only one that can tell us how to apply each lesson to our own lives.

We all have things we face that are just as traumatic as a cancer diagnosis. It may not be as life-threatening, but it can be just as traumatic. The school of life can bring hard knocks. Therefore, every situation can have a benefit to our own character growth and help us gain wisdom for the next phase of life. Situations become lessons learned and testimonies to share with others that could help them on their journey.

It is humbling to expose some of the things God teaches me but I remind myself that "pride comes before the fall" Proverbs 16:18. No one benefits from a life that pretends to have it all together and everything figured out. The school of life continues forever.

Now and Forever

I have had a productive chemo recovery and prepared myself as much as possible for tomorrow's surgery. It has been effective for me to busy my mind with other things so I didn't get too worked up over this dreaded day.

Terry and I had our 27th anniversary on June 6th. We recently enjoyed a night out to dinner to celebrate. Since I am now able to taste food it was worth the wait. Our date didn't exactly go as planned but we were together and that is all that really matters.

Cancer has caused me to have some emotional breakdowns, physical exhaustion, fogged thinking, and many other unexpected side effects, but through it all, Terry has encouraged me. His quiet, calm confidence is solid and keeps me grounded.  He is the most amazing man. Everyone who knows him will most likely agree with that statement.

He does not like to be bragged on, but I'm going to do it anyway (don't tell him)! There are so many little things that he does that expresses his love. He may not give me flowers or candy, but he gives me himself, all that he is and has every day. I am so grateful that I get to call him Honey and he calls me Dear.

With Christ in the center of our marriage, I'm looking forward to spending the next 27 plus years in Terry's arms and by his side. I am proud to be his wife now and forever.

Preparing for Surgery

I can't believe how quickly time has passed. My last chemo treatment was May 28th but it seems like it was only a couple of weeks ago. The neuropathy has disappeared in my fingers, I feel it occasionally in my toes, but under the circumstance, I am very grateful it's not worse. My taste buds have healed and my appetite is back (that's not so great for the waistline) but it is nice be able to taste food again.

I have been spending most of my time preparing for breast surgery, which is July 15th. It has put me on a quest to complete some tasks that have been staring at me throughout my chemo treatments. Other things just started piling up after chemo started, but thankfully I have completed most of them.

I had a great time with my dad and brother when they came for a visit. We had the most fun making fry bread for tacos. It was an unplanned, last minute idea that sent us to the store twice, made a huge mess in the kitchen, and caused us to eat later than normal, but it brought the most memorable moments.

Sometimes the best things we do together are the hardest to achieve. We almost gave up on the idea because it wasn’t coming together very easily. It took great effort to find a recipe, gather the ingredients, dig out the fryer, and research the technique. We made a few mistakes and failed on our first three breads, which we found pretty tasty as a snack before dinner. It was all worth it in the end, not just because we had great tacos, but because we had a great time.

It made me think about the great effort it takes to live as a Christian; the mistakes we make, the trials we go through, the persecutions we face, and the many times we fail, but it is all worth it in the end. It takes effort to seek His word and dig out the truth. It takes effort to accept His word over what we want for ourselves. It is easier to give up and go with the flow of the world around us. It is easier to give in to our own wants and desires.

I have heard many times that cancer isn’t for sissies; well, I can say the same about Christianity, it is not for sissies. Those of us who choose to be Christians are not given a special bubble to live in that keeps us from troubles, heartache, illness, or catastrophe. What we are given is a special relationship with the God of creation, through Jesus His Son (John 3:16).

In this relationship we find the wisdom, encouragement, strength, and faith to endure through all that life puts before us. We find amazing grace, unstoppable love, unexplainable peace, great joy, and a life that is worth living. The most difficult times can be the most rewarding. The hardest obsticles can be the greatest moments. God makes all things work for good to those that love Him (Romans 8:28). 

Cancer has effected every part of my life. I have had to deal with physical limitations, challenged on the emotional roller coaster, and spiritually stretched in my faith. Through my relationship with the Lord, I have found His word to be true; all things have worked for good.   

I still have surgery and radiation to go through on this cancer journey, but God is sufficient and He will see me through it all.