Cancer is NOT the Big "C"

Coming to the reality that you have cancer can take a little bit to sink in. Fighting all the emotions of fear, anxiety, and desperation can be exhausting. The key is to fight and the reality is that God is sufficient.

During this battle, I have been reminded that cancer is not the big "C"! Christ is the Big C and he has promised, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you" Hebrews 13:5. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever" Hebrews 13:8. I can boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me" Hebrews 13:6. 

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God is not perplexed about what He is going to do. He is not surprised by the news, so I am allowing Him to guide me each day; even when I can't see the next step in front of me. I have been educating myself on cancer fighting foods and foods that will increase my immune system. I have cut out all sugars and I am eating mostly plant-based foods. I have also added some supplements to help me be stronger for the battle I am facing in the near future.

I will say that giving up my yummy hazelnut coffee was probably the most difficult. I overcame temptation my imagining the cancer cells eating and growing bigger as I fed it the delicious "sugary" goodness. 

God continues to answer prayers. The cancer has not spread to my lymph nodes, which is a huge praise. I am still waiting for the BRCA gene test to come back. If I understand things correctly, if I am positive for the gene, then I will be required to take a chemo drug for the next 10 years, but only after my original treatment and surgery. 

Please continue to pray for me and my family. I desire to grow stronger in the Lord through this trial and give Him praise every day while I'm in it. 

It's Chemo

I was wrong about cancer being the only word in the world that could churn the stomach to the point of vomiting ~ chemo is another.  Those of you who have been through this process probably have some insight to a few more words that I have not heard yet which will do the same.

The diagnosis is Stage II Triple Negative Ductal Carcinoma. The triple negative means that the cancer is estrogen negative, progesterone negative, and HER2 (a protein on the cell surface that stimulates growth) negative. This limits the treatment options to chemo ~ 3 to 6 months of chemo before any surgery is considered.

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Honestly, I was very surprised that I only have one option. I thought with all the research facilities and extensive studies that have been taking place over the past several years that there would have been multiple options for treating cancer by now.

In all reality, I suppose there are, unfortunately, there are no other options for me. This was very disappointing because I know the effects chemo can have on the total health of the body. I do not want to do chemo and was hoping for a different option.

Of course, at this point they do not know if the cancer has spread anywhere else in my body or if the cancer originated from somewhere else. The doctor took a sample from swollen lymph nodes under my arm to send off for testing which will not be back for several days. If I understand things correctly, my stage II will be increased to stage III if the results come back positive.

Before chemo can begin I must have a series of tests done. While waiting, I will be making every effort to increase my immune system and overall health. I am spending lots of time in God's word to make His promises ever present in my heart and mind. "Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might" Ephesians 6:10. He is my Strength, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my Strong Tower; in Him will I place all my trust. He is sufficient for my life.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for You are with me" Psalm 23:4. I love this verse because I am walking through a valley but death is a mere shadow. I have nothing to fear because God is with me every step of the way.

It's Cancer

It's cancer. Hearing those words brought an overwhelming flood of emotions; but mostly fear. I could hardly sort through my own thoughts to hear anything else the doctor said. Cancer? Cancer! What? I don't think any other word in all the world could churn a stomach to the point of vomiting. For those of you who have experienced this moment, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I can say that until you hear it, and I hope you never do, no imagination can bring you to that place.

My journey has just begun and my first response was to keep it quiet. I didn't want to tell anyone because I had no idea how to share the news. I wouldn't know what to say or how to answer any questions. I was gripped by fear even to reach out. I came to the conclusion that I would rather share for prayers than to stay silent and face this monster alone. 

My phone rang from an unknown number and I answered expecting to hear a doctors office or hospital representative on the other end. Instead, it was the sweet sound of an unknown saint soon to be my dear friend, Norma Gibe. She had just finished her treatment for breast cancer and tracked down my number to call and share encouragement with me. She found me at a time I needed her the most. 

It is scary to share those secret fears and speaking of scary ~ my cryie face ~ now that's scary! LOL. I did not want people to see me cry and if they ask me something, I might (most definitely) cry. Norma shared her heart and opened my eyes to see past my own vanity. She helped me see how important it is to share my struggles even in the midst of them. 

It is easier to share the hard times once your on the other side of them, but sharing while your still vulnerable is not as simple. It takes something more than I had a week ago. Today, I am being vulnerable in the most difficult battle of my life because my new friend Norma taught me that sharing, even when you don't know someone, blesses others lives.