The Courage to Fight

For the first time in 16 weeks, I am not facing chemo treatments. It seems strange to be at this stage in the process because, oddly enough, chemo seems to become a routine of life.

I remember being scared to even start chemo and had to muster the courage to move forward in spite of my fear. Then, I found myself in the strange position of being scared to stop chemo and had to muster the courage to surrender to my doctor's recommendation.

I have had a group of friends who have sacrificed their time taking me to my chemo treatments, doctor appointments, and basic errand running. They have prepared meals, given gift cards for area restaurants, massaged my feet, brought me gifts, and checked on me daily for any needs that may arise. I have received cards and texts of encouragement every day. I cannot say enough about these women and the love they have shown me. 

Women who have walked this road before me always say that cancer is not for sissies. They are determined to set their minds to fight, "kicking cancer's rear." I have been encouraged by those women who endured the weight of cancer and all that comes with the diagnosis. They are the warriors who have gone before in battle and cheer me on from the other side.

The fight is bigger than the disease or the cure, the fight encompasses every part of who I am. Some days I have been in a battle of fighting fears, other days I have battled wrong thoughts and maybe even depression. The battle of fatigue is hard because it has caused me to feel like I miss out on the "normal" life I have always had.

Battling the side effects has always been exhausting because there are so many that affect everyday life ~ from food to bathroom breaks, which then goes back to the battle of fatigue, depression, and fears. Fighting the battle takes courage and determination every single day.

I am still in the middle of my cancer battle. At this point, I will have 4 to 6 weeks of chemo recovery time before I lay on the operating table for breast surgery. Now, another fight begins; facing unknowns and fears, decisions and doctors orders. What will it be like on the other side and how will my life be changed?

God has taught me so much through this first stage of the battle and I know I have many more lessons to learn. I am thankful for my friends and family who have made sacrifices to come alongside me and fight with me. I am thankful for the warriors who are on the other side cheering me on and I look forward to standing alongside them one day cheering on others in the middle of the battle.