Communicating Neuropathy

Only four more treatments to go!!! However, we have now come to the point that neuropathy is a real issue. I have started feeling a slight numbness in my fingers and toes.

The Oncology team has always evaluated the neuropathy each week to determine whether or not I will continue with the next treatment, but now it is serious enough that each week could be my last because they don't want to cause permanent damage to my body.

It is critical that I be able to communicate what I am feeling because neuropathy cannot be seen, tested, or examined. I'm not sure I did a very good job describing these new and strange sensations; I looked for comparisons and examples, but I didn't feel confident in my explanation.

It would be so much easier if the Doc could take my hand, mash my fingertips, examine my fingernails, and tell me the stage of neuropathy I'm at but unfortunately for me, clear communication is the only way to be safe.

Communication is difficult that's why there are so many misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and bruised relationships which can cause permanent damage to the heart. Neuropathy is the only side effect that can cause permanent damage to the body, so my future health depends on my clear communication.

It's not always easy to find the right words at the right time to say exactly what you want to say. It's not easy for the listener to wait in silence while we find those words either so they begin to talk and communication is lost. Many times this is why we keep talking through our thoughts and sometimes say things we really don't mean; we are just trying to hold our place in the conversation. This is one of the many issues that can arise.

This is the same issue that arises in our prayer life. Communicating with God can feel complicated if we think we have to know exactly what we want to say and have all the right words at the right time. I found out recently that this is why many people say recited prayers; this is especially true for our children and young Christians. But, a lack of meaningful communication to God in prayer can cause permanent damage to our soul.

I remember when I was a child, my siblings and I had the "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayer every night. I did not pass that prayer to my children because I wanted them to have more meaningful communication with the Lord. However, they somehow managed to find a comfortable prayer and began reciting it every night. They had a slightly different prayer for the morning.

When I asked them about it, they admitted that they didn't always know what to say and it felt strange to have silence during prayer time while they thought through what they wanted to say.

I assured them that silence was a great part of prayer and much needed for us to hear God speak. This gave them the freedom to take their time, think, listen, and share with God from their hearts.

What a blessing our prayer time is now! It is more meaningful and heartfelt. I get to hear what they are truly thankful for. They share their fears, doubts, and insights as they express to God their heart. I get to agree with them in prayer and add things they are praying for to my prayer list.

Matthew 6 gives us some pointers on prayer. We have warnings, not to pray with vain (meaningless) repetitions, not to pray just to be heard by others, but to pray to our heavenly Father from our heart. We find the model prayer here and the command of forgiveness. It's a great chapter on trusting God in prayer, what things to pray for, instruction for fasting, and so much more.

Prayer is our communication with God and our very life depends on it. Neglecting prayer will cause permanent damage to our life just as neglecting the signs of neuropathy causes permanent damage.

Communication is so important and with communication comes silence, listening, caution with words, and care; just because a thought comes to our mind does not mean we have to say it. Holding our place in the conversation is not as important as saying the right words, even if we have to wait for another turn to say it.