Acts of Kindness

I have had so many wonderful acts of kindness shared with me this week that I can only praise God for moving in the hearts of people. I have been on the receiving end of Romans 12:10, "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another." My heart is so full my eyes leak with the overflow.

First, my sweet dear friend Khirsti invited my children to the theater performance of "Beauty and the Beast" with her family and I thought I was going to burst. She opened her arms and gathered my children up in them just like Jesus did with the children in Matthew 19:14. There are no words to express how it feels to have someone think of your children while you are going through treatment for cancer.   

Second, I have been assured that I will be losing my hair with the kind of chemotherapy treatment I am receiving. My friend Deb offered to help me with scarves and wigs; she even brought some bangs to put under my scarf so that it will look like I have hair. I've never worn a wig before, I'm not sure I want to, but she showed me how to put it on and how to tie up the scarves. Now, when I do lose my hair, I will be confident in taking care of my head.  

Third, some of my family and friends chipped in to help me get a new recliner because I had a tough time getting comfortable while dealing with the side effects of chemo. My bones ached, my back hurt, and my skin throbbed from laying in bed. I tried moving to the couch but it wasn't any better. I couldn't help but feel blessed and I know that word is probably overused but I truly do feel blessed to have this need met. 

Many other acts of kindness included; food delivered to my door prepared and ready to eat. A phone call saying that my children would be picked up from school so I didn't have to get out. A gift brought by which contained a bag with all I would need at the hospital during treatments. The countless encouraging texts, calls, cards, and visits. The prayers I feel being said every day on my behalf. 

Romans 12 is the chapter about the body of Christ; our responsibilities to God and to each other. I have experienced the movement of the body of Christ this week. "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; distributing to the needs of saints; given to hospitality" 12:12-13. "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another" 12:15-16. 

Kindness is deeper than the act of it; it can nourish the soul. 

Facing the Fear of Chemo

Facing the fear of Chemo has been a difficult journey that has taken me through many emotions. I will not claim that I have overcome my fear in the least, but I am moving forward each day in spite of my fear. 

My first treatment was scheduled for last Tuesday. It was a difficult morning waiting for my appointment time. I was so nervous I couldn't eat breakfast. My friend Janie took me to the hospital and walked me to my room. Because of the small quarters, there was no room for Janie to stay beside me. As she walked out, I was left in a room full of strangers to face the biggest fear in my journey...chemo.

Funny how there seems to be some sort of strength that comes with having a friend by your side; you know, that person who understands how you feel and knows what you're thinking. I am blessed to have many friends and family that meet this description in my life, but not one of them could be there at that moment.

Part of facing my fear of chemo has been learning to hold fast to my faith and trusting the Lord more than ever before. I had no one around me to lean on but the Lord and nothing to hold on to but my faith. I began quoting the Psalms that have given me strength over the past weeks. Lord, You are my Shepherd and although I may be walking through this valley, You are with me Ps. 23. Lord, You are my Light and my Salvation of whom shall I be afraid? Ps 27. Lord, You have created me and made me, You know my heart and the emotions I feel because You know my inward parts, I trust You with my life. Ps. 139. 

As treatment started I thought it would be a good idea to do some work, so I pulled out my computer. It took my mind off the process and allowed me to concentrate on new tasks for my future. However, while receiving the second round of medicine, my body reacted and I became sick. My nurse, who is absolutely fantastic, turned off my medicine for almost an hour so that I could somewhat recover. She lowered the rate of injection and finished out my first round of chemo much later than expected.

I have been sick all week but each day feeling a bit better than the day before. With the help of my husband, I'm learning how to eat and what my body needs to stay strong during chemo. God is teaching me how to put on His Armor and stand in the midst of adversity. I am thankful that God has not removed the pain and suffering of this illness from me, because through the pain and suffering, I am learning things from Him that will be with me on the other side of this trial.

Whatever trial you may be going through, I pray that you will find the life lessons that will be with you on the other side; those things that will benefit you beyond your adversity. 

Gleaning From Cancer

It's been almost a month since I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Triple Negative Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer. The doctor said that I would have 3 to 6 months of chemo before surgery would be discussed. There is no other option but chemo. When I found out I had cancer, I cried; when I found out chemo was my cure, I sobbed.

https://aroundwellington.com/the-making-
strides-against-breast-cancer-walk/

I had many women doing their best to encourage me that chemo was going to be fine...that I would do great...and that I had nothing to fear. I was told many stories of other survivors and miracles that happened along the way. However, it didn't change anything for me.

I have been diligently seeking a cure that did not involve chemotherapy. The first thing I did was change my diet to predominantly plant-based foods. I found supplements that would help boost my immune system. I researched alternative medicines that had a proven track record for killing cancer.

I went to a naturopathic doctor last week to look at by body on a cellular level. The technology was amazing! According to the test, the cancer in my body is fungal based and there are supplements that can kill the fungus. The doctor thought I should see results in 4 to 6 weeks by taking these supplements.

I applied for a clinical drug study for women with Triple Negative Breast Cancer but had to wait for my gene test results before I could be approved. If this drug works it would give a future option for women with this type of cancer. Still waiting for my results to come through. I even sent my medical records to an Oncologist in another country hoping for a different protocol; one that didn't include chemo, but he reported back that I needed chemo immediately.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Janie asked me if I was willing to do whatever was needed, even if it was chemo. It was a hard question that I had to take to the Lord. I had to admit that I was afraid of my cure and stop running, so I decided to trust God with my cure as well as my disease. I chose not to wait the 4 to 6 weeks for the supplemental results and move forward with chemotherapy.

I have had all my tests; breast MRI, CT scan, bone scan, and echo cardiogram. The port has been put in place and chemotherapy starts next week. I will have a two-drug (Adriamycin and Cyclophosphamide) combination drip for the next 8 weeks. Then the drug will change to Paclitaxel for 12 weeks. Total treatment of 5 months.

Gleaning life lessons from cancer has taught me to look beyond my physical adversity to find the Spiritual strength that will be with me on the other side. My prayers are more intimate; they are less about me and more about Him. The Psalms have been a great encouragement for me because it is there I find that The Lord is my light and my salvation; of whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" 27:1.

I didn't realize that I was running scared or that I had let fear dominate my decisions. Now that chemo is only a few days away I can face it in faith; trusting the Lord with all my heart and leaning not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:4-5).